We’re proud to feature a new post from one of our amazing board members, Naomi of Santa Cruz Officiant!

Ministering to the Churchless

You’re getting married, or you’re looking for someone to perform a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life ceremony for a loved one, and you need someone to officiate.

This is likely new territory for you, and you have no idea where to begin. You’re probably feeling all kinds of things – joy, sorrow, stress, overwhelm.

In the days when most everyone belonged to a congregation, and had pastors, rabbis, imams and priests who knew them since birth, they had reliable presences that would show up for them during major life cycle passages. They may have still been feeling big emotions, but they didn’t have to search the internet to find a trustworthy individual to represent and support them during one of the biggest moments of their lives.

Churches, synagogues, and mosques offered clergy legitimacy, protection, and financial security, and because those infrastructures were in place to support them, they could offer themselves freely in service to their congregants.

Money was rarely (if ever) discussed at these emotionally-charged life milestones, and it didn’t need to be. This is because annual salaries and regular tithings sustained their lives on an ongoing basis.

There was continuity of relationship, and there was continuity of financial renumeration, and that made it sustainable for everyone involved.

So here I am now, a small, independent business owner in Santa Cruz County, providing an important and necessary service to people who’ve chosen to exist outside of the traditional frameworks that once governed our lives.

I provide spiritual direction and/or ceremonial leadership at major life cycle passages, and support individuals, couples and communities during these hugely significant threshold moments. And, I’m an independent contractor who needs to put food on her table.

Some people express indignation when they realize that there’s a cost for what I do. They just can’t wrap their heads around it.

This is because we have no models of how this works or is supposed to go now. We’re dismantling the old systems and structures and we need to create new ones that are equitable and sustainable for everyone involved.

It’s important to realize that if you want the freedom to express your beliefs however you choose, and you ALSO want professional, soulful, and inspired direction and leadership, you MUST be willing to have the money conversation, challenging as it may seem.

This means that I don’t have any of the infrastructures, support systems, or historical legitimacy of a church. This also means is that I need to charge equitably and unapologetically for my good, hard work.

Note: I do not perform prewritten ceremony scripts. I take a lot of time to get to know individuals, couples and communities so that I can create ceremonies that are relevant, inclusive, and valuable to them. It takes me 20+ hours to create what might become a half hour ceremony. My work centers around creating relationships with people and places, and reinvigorating major life passages, milestones, thresholds and transitions with ceremonies that are personal, meaningful and inspiring.

Contributed by Naomi Rose – View original article here.